Thursday, 28 July 2016

Far From Routine: Acceptable in the 80s

Reader Request

PHYLLIS PADUR
1987 NPC Extravaganza (?)

Poor quality, and not really a spectacular routine, admits the reader who nominated this old school gem, but the first bodybuilder I was interested in way back in the day.



A slightly shorter, but slightly better quality version of Phyllis' routine is also available - here. Unlike the above clip there is accompanying sound, but the downside is that some genius has added possibly the most annoying soundtrack imaginable to it.

"The first bodybuilder I was interested in" was a common theme among our readers' selections, and judging by when those women were around, we're all getting on a bit!

Today, we go back to the 80s...


Reader Request

CLAUDIA PROFANTER
1987 WABBA Worlds (?)

Despite the dodgy quality of this clip, it should please our fan of the "take it slow" routine. Every pose she hits seems to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. If only the ladies were allowed as much time for their routines now as they were back then. Thankfully, Claudia's heyday coincided with that of the three-minute routine.



More Claudia previously on FMS.


Reader Request

SUSAN MYERS
1988 NPC Jr Nationals

From the YouTube channel Vintage Amazonia where "old school" is the only school, Sue Myers shows off her spectacular body to sensational effect in the kind of posing suit that this fan prays will one day make a comeback. She makes me wish I could go back to the 80s, confesses the reader who nominated the clip. But I'd go back with an HD camera! The final, triumphant double biceps pose will slay you, but if you stick around after the end of the routine there's a fresh-off-stage Sue being interviewed.




Reader Request

KATHY UNGER
1988 NPC Nationals

And also from Vintage Amazonia, not so much a routine as a series of power poses. And bless the cameraman, a lot of the clip has Kathy's droolworthy, rippling upper body in close-up. Big, defined, and pretty much defining the term "hard flexing".




Swell Pick

JANET TECH
1988 Ms Olympia

Not so much one of my favourites (although I would be lying if I said I haven't spent some quality time with this routine while compiling this post) as a treat for an old friend whose blog has gone a bit quiet recently. Hopefully the sight of Janet in her pomp will inspire him back into action. 1988, it seems, was a very good year...



Ultimate Muscle has more routines from the 1988 Olympia, all fantastic quality. Anja Langer, Bev Francis, Dona Oliveira (another of our old friend's faves), Tonya Knight, Joy Nichols and her memorable most musculars, and many many more.

Enjoy!

Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Far From Routine: Ellogon's Treasures Part 1

Since 2009, YouTuber "Ellogon" has been building probably the most amazing female muscle contest collection that (as far as I know) exists. Unsurprisingly, many of your suggestions for this week's posts led me to clips uploaded to their channel, and on top of that, I found that many of my own favourite routines (or at least the very best versions of them that are available) were right there on that same channel too.

In fact, so numerous were the nominations from Ellogon's channel that I thought it best (especially after yesterday's, er, let's say "festival of excitement") to split our collective tribute to their work into two parts. Today, two reader requests, and a couple of Swell picks from three famous names from the good old "Golden Age".
That two of them are both requests and favourites of mine just goes to show that it's true what they say that great female muscle lovin' minds really do think alike!


Reader Request/Swell Pick

NATALIA MURNIKOVIENE
1994 IFBB Worlds

The best leg definition in the show, says the Eurosport commentator, an accolade that Natalia could claim in most of the shows she competed in during her career. Her performance here has just about everything that you could possibly want from a routine. Dance moves, flexibility and gymnastics, hard flexing through gritted teeth, oh so expressive, crawling across the stage like a silky, powerful pantheress on heat...




Swell Pick

YOLANDA HUGHES
1997 Ms International

Dubbed "The Queen of Mobile Muscle", Yolanda performs her way to the first of her two Ms International triumphs. If Natalia's routine has everything you could want, Yolanda's has that and a whole bunch of other stuff you never dreamed possible.



For my money, every routine Yolanda ever performed is worth a watch, a second watch, and a third, fourth and fifth as well. If you fancy a bit more of her WOW factor, you might like to check her out at the 1991 NPC USAs, a Ms Olympia I'm not sure of the date of, and the 1993 Ms Olympia (no sound, but my personal favourite posing suit).


Reader Request/Swell Pick

MELISSA COATES
1997 Ms International

And from the same show, the best advertisement for not getting cosmetic surgery back when she was the best advertisement for female bodybuilding. In those days Melissa could have come on with a paintbrush, painted a bit of the stage and watched it dry and it would have been sexy, so this performance must have threatened the trouser fabric of many an audience member. My personal highlight comes just before the 1.00 mark - the little "hula hoop" move followed by an abs and thigh pose. Major swoonage.




Enjoy!

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Far From Routine: Be My Guest

For our second installment of "all-time favourite" routines, a triple dose of nominations from the inimitable JL, the last of which also serves as the starter in a three-course feast of routines from one of female bodybuilding's greatest performers.

Those of you familiar with JL will be well aware that there is truly no greater love than the love he has for Yaxeni, so it'll be no surprise that the first of his nominations is a routine of hers. In fact, as he explains, it was this routine that started it all. Yaxeni's routine at 1999 IFBB Pro Extravaganza caused the best orgasm I'd ever experienced in 5 years of pleasure with FBB materials, he says. This Venezuela-breed beefcake was immediately crowned "The Most Orgasmic Muscle Cum Queen God Ever Created", and The Yaxeni Orgasmic Moment (YOM) has been getting better and better ever since.


YAXENI ORIQUEN
1999 Pro Extravaganza




Did you have a good YOM?!

Up next, JL's second suggestion, and this one's in HD, so get some fluids on board.

Tina Chandler needs no further introduction, says JL. From her first win in 2004 at the NPC Texas in Arlington, I've lost count of the number of times I've wanked to the sheer sexuality of this spermalicious Shreveport, Louisiana breed white beef.

He's never one to tell you less than you'd care to know, is he?

I would like to highlight her routine at the 2011 Tampa Pro, he tells us. Shiny PVC posing outfit on her ripped tanned muscles, and... that belly button ring! How can you resist a fast, furious wank? Indeed. The clip is all over in less than two minutes.

Gentlemen, start your engines...


TINA CHANDLER
2011 Tampa Pro




And we're not even halfway through today's post. Pace yourself.

Now, when I asked for your favourite routines, I wasn't actually thinking about Guest Posing, but you most definitely were. Far be it from me to poo-poo your nominations just because I didn't explain myself properly, so throughout the week our evening shows will be punctuated with guest posers for your viewing pleasure.

JL's guest poser is female muscle legend Laura Creavalle, and yes, naturally he has some observations about the routine that he wants to share with you.

This is the best muscle sexhibition from this Guyana-breed chocolate beef, he says. Laura, he reckons, is sending a message she wants kinky sex. I can see the moment she starts flexing she gets horny at the same time. First time I watched I remember I had to pull my cock out and wanked 6 times in the row. You've got to love him!

And you've got to love this!


LAURA CREAVALLE
Guest Posing




Quite a finish, isn't it?

Anyway, we leave JL (no doubt his eyes rolling back in their sockets) but stay with Laura, because that classic guest posing routine was not the only nomination she received. As our final offerings today, two Ms Olympia routines from Laura that other readers (who don't care to share so much!) put on their lists of all-time favourites.


Reader Request

LAURA CREAVALLE
1991 Ms Olympia




Reader Request

LAURA CREAVALLE
1993 Ms Olympia




Enjoy!

Monday, 25 July 2016

Far From Routine: Slow & Sexy

A little while back we asked for your "all-time favourite routines", and, as always, many of you answered the call. This week we'll be seeing whose routines you nominated, adding a few of our own picks, and on top of that we'll be tipping our hat to a particular YouTube channel with an exceptional collection of female muscle contest clips.

"What's your all-time favourite routine?" is not an easy question to answer. As one reader rightly pointed out, it very much depends on what is available on YouTube, and many readers noted their natural inclination was to simply think of the best YouTube clip of their favourite FBB's most memorable performance. But even so, I think by the end of the week you'll agree that that has made for a pretty damn great collection of female bodybuilding at its most artistic, gymnastic, and downright muscle sexy.

Reader Requests

And today's two routines could very well serve as definitions of that. It should be done slow, reckons our Crossfit correspondent Aiden, who nominated both of today's routines. Poses held, when they go too quick it becomes a bit cheerleader for my liking. So, we're going slow and sexy today, slow and very very VERY sexy.

NIKKI FULLER
1997 Ms International




BONNY PRIEST
2003 NPC USAs




If it's still in your shorts, you are a more disciplined man than I.

For more (and more recent) Bonny see FMS from 1st July - Look Who's Back!

More reader requests tomorrow - maybe yours!

Sunday, 24 July 2016

Obsessions New & Old: She's So Alpha

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Say hello to Mica Schneider, also known as Mica Zumpano Schneider. Say hello to those shoulders, you'll be seeing a fair bit of them today. And to that bicep, more of which to follow as well. And you'll be seeing a whole lot more of that tongue of hers too.

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There. You see? That tongue again. Different bicep, but again, shoulders. Bit more this time though, isn't there? Abs and veins and abs and that deep tan and the posing suit. Looks like she's feeling it, wouldn't you say? Feeling as good as she looks. And she looks - despite the blur - AMAZING. After all, she writes of this photo, that's why I'm here.

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"Here" was this year's Chicago Pro, where on stage the smile was as wide as it had been in the hotel room, though she did manage to rein in the tongue. She finished 12th, in Physique. And this year she also competed in Toronto, finishing 10th.

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Now normally I would go into a fair bit of detail about contest history, when she turned pro etc. etc. But, as Mica herself says, It's not just about the stage. Everyone wants a six-pack, she continues, the question is, who is willing to work for it in the gym and eat for it outside the gym? This girl is! And here's the bit where we find out what else apart from the stage it is about... And you can bet your ass I'll be showing it off in a bikini poolside this summer! Excuse me while I swoon all over the place.

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Like those pecs? Check this out, it'll melt your screen.

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Imagine being poolside as Mica struts in in her bikini with her six-pack and her shoulder and her biceps and that smile and that hair and those aviators. Let's say you're a man. Imagine the problem you are just about to have regarding the physical effect this goddess is going to have on you. But on top of that, at once you find that while you are excited, you also have a certain feeling of helplessness. An ache of disappointment. You're not the kind of man who could ever have a woman like this.

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Now, imagine you're a woman. You might even have been feeling pretty good about yourself as you lay out in your bikini and noticed one or two guys looking your way, but how you feel in the presence of such an obviously superior woman? Look at her, glowing with vitality and confidence and power and animal sexuality and those muscles that you always thought made women look manly but (look at her six-pack!) there's no mistaking she's all woman. And you suddenly feel rather inadequate.

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It may not surprise you if I confess at this point that I am really struggling to hold a train of thought together as I write about Mica. She's one of those women - like Marthe, like Margie - who are mature, supremely confident and 100% muscle sexy. Everything she seems to do is informed by her absolute certainty that she is the sexiest woman in any room, pool, stage, whatever. Yes, she's gorgeous (Zumpano, Italian blood) but it's the confidence, the alpha-ness that is so exciting, and that stems from her muscles.

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This is just for ME, says Mica, a mother to two boys in (I believe) her mid 40s!!! Not for a man. Not to compete. I do this to push my limits. To challenge myself. To better myself... mind, body & spirit. Is it easy? Hell no! Is it worth it? Absolutely!

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Now I dare say that this (mega) crush I have on Mica will, like all my previous crushes and obsessions, eventually wane and the thrill of the new will thrill me again. But right now I could fill a week of posts, no, a month, just with pictures of her in her car.

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I'll resist the temptation for now. Our week of obsessions has come to an end and for a little while at least I'll be keeping the swoons that result from my obsessive IG stalking of Mica to myself. Starting tomorrow it's time to reveal the posing routines our readers nominated as their all-time favourites, so if you got in touch, look out for yours.

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We leave you today as we began. Enjoy!

Saturday, 23 July 2016

Obsessions New & Old: The Ultimate Obsession

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I’ve lived long enough to know that it’s muscle on a woman that turns me on more than anything. I love it. Any amount of it will do, but the more muscle there is, the more defined and proportional it is, the more turned on I seem to get. I simply find muscular female physiques to be more beautiful and more sensual than any other body type.

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Lovers of female muscle (myself included) seem to spend a lot of our time trying to explain what it is we love about women with muscles in a way that gentlemen who prefer blondes, or big fake tits, or older women, or Asian women, don't. We explain it to ourselves, to each other, maybe even on the odd occasion to those who deride the women we adore. And when we do, we don’t usually put very succinctly, but basically what it is all about is - for me anyway - purely and simply, is their muscles.

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In the same way that many guys can’t understand what we find arousing about these amazing women, I can’t conceive what it is like to not be aroused by muscles on a woman. When others say female bodybuilders lack the curves of a conventionally sexy woman, I am genuinely confused. I too love curves on a woman, and muscle women have curves everywhere because of all their muscles. How can others not see that?! They have curves in places that most women don’t have places, making them, for my money, the most curvaceous, and therefore, the sexiest, women of all.

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I love the way muscles look whether relaxed or flexed, in motion or frozen in a photographic image. If sthenolagnia is "arousal by the display of strength or muscles", then the keywords for me are "display" and "muscles". I guess that's why I love the "ripped" look. When, beneath paper-thin skin, even the fibres of the muscles show.

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You know back in the days of the trip to the newsagent’s to get my female muscle fixes, I would buy the magazines so that I could masturbate while looking at the pictures of the likes of Cory, Anja etc. And I did plenty of that. Plenty. But I also remember that I would spend a lot of time between those frenetic moments in a kind of trance-like contemplation, gazing at the photos, following the contours of their muscles, all the curves on their bodies, thinking about how perfect their physiques were.

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And I dreamed that one day I would actually get to touch those muscles, to follow the contours of those magnificent bodies with not just my eyes, but with my hands. To feel the hard muscle beneath the skin. I couldn’t imagine anything more arousing.

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Unfortunately, I never got to touch Cory or Anja! But I have felt the muscles of dancers, gymnasts and martial artists with my own hands (hands that were shaking with the excitement of the moment) and more recently my own wife's developing body. And even despite my highly idealised expectations, I've loved it every time.

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Yes, the wife. I haven't said much about her for a while on here, the reason being I hate to refuse all those requests for pictures (respectful though they were, despite one or two going a little over the top). I hate to disappoint. But anyway, yes, all those things I thought - prayed - would happen when she decided to "get in shape" have happened and/or are happening. Once she got off the cardio fixation and started actually lifting the changes she saw in her body shape meant she no longer needed my, or anyone else's, encouragement. It became addictive. Greater pride in her body equals greater confidence. More revealing gymwear, a more revealing wardrobe full stop. She feels sexier, she enjoys sex more, there's more - much more - sex. Thanks to muscle.

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And she really hasn't built that much. She's not as big as even the smallest woman in today's selection of muscle goddesses. If she were, if she carries on as she is now, will I still be bothering to look at these pictures? Will I still be as addicted, as obsessed with other women's muscles as I've always been? I sincerely hope I get to find out!

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Hi, I'm David. And I'm obsessed with female muscle.

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Enjoy!

Friday, 22 July 2016

Obsessions New & Old: Layla!

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My introduction to today's obsession was the above pic. That's a beautiful chest, I thought (or something to that effect), and after spending a bit of quality time, er, let's say "contemplating" its beauty, I wondered who the beauty who had built that beautiful chest was. But there was no name attached to the pic, so I scrolled down to the comments below it. That's a beautiful chest, said one. Great minds clearly think alike, but none of the comments were much help in identifying the beautiful chest's owner.

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Then another pic turned up. Had to be the same woman. Damn, that looks delicious, read the single comment below it. True, very true, but again no ID. Double damn!

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So out went the call to all the FMS helpers. The ID specialists. What a team they'd make if only they knew each other! And back came the answer (with links to many many more pictures of our new obsession) - the beautiful chest was Layla Allen's.

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American probably, I thought. Physique probably. I typed the name into Google and once again I was confronted with the depths of my own ignorance. Not American, Scottish. Not Physique, at least not IFBB Physique anyway. Figure, but the kind of muscular "Trained" Figure you find in federations like NABBA and WFF for example.

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And those pecs have been around for years it turns out. Though I guess given their qualities that much ahould have been obvious to me! Layla has been competing since around 2004, and has won more titles than you can possibly imagine - NABBA, BNBF, UKBFF - and, most recently, she became the IBFA Ms Universe in the 35+ Figure category for the second consecutive year. And I'd never, ever, heard of her. DOH!

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Layla - and those pecs - at the 2016 IBFA Universe

She was "in her 30s" when she started competing, so she must be comfortably over the 35+ age limit for her IBFA category, beating women considerably younger than her. Layla has one of the best physiques in the country, reads her Facebook - "Glam Fitness" - blurb. In fact, it's clearly better than most physiques in the world.

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I don't usually obsess about a particular bodypart on a particular woman. It seems a bit rude given they clearly work damn hard on the whole package, and as a serial champion Layla definitely has that overall package. But sometimes it's unavoidable. The bodypart is so exceptional, so swoonworthy on its own, that I can't help myself.

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And the latest pec-oriented offerings from Layla above and below haven't had me wondering when she's going to post a more head-to-toe picture of herself. Actually, she does post a lot more pics of her pecs on her Instagram than anything else. Perhaps she might be just as obsessed with them than I am, probably she's even more obsessed.

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After all, it's taken her a fair few years to hone her chest into such amazing shape. Takes dedication that, and a lot of hard graft. Effort beyond the comprehension of the average female. Some would call it an obsession. She's gone too far, she looks too different from the norm. But I, and I dare say you, dear reader, couldn't disagree more. Who wants to be "normal" anyway? Happily not Layla Allen. Long may she, and those exceptional women like her, remain obsessed with building exceptional bodies.