Sunday 31 March 2013

Sarah And Me: At Home With Sarah I

What's day-to-day domestic life like with is a female bodybuilder? I doubt I am the only one here who has spent more time than I probably should have pondering that question. Nowadays, you almost don't have to imagine. There are millions of images of muscle women just hanging out in their domestic surroundings. The spread of digital photography and the ease with which images can be shared have seen to that. But less than ten years ago, these little peeks into the intimate surroundings of female bodybuilders were (as far as I recall) quite rare.

Maybe Sarah was a pioneer in this field, or maybe I was just paying so much attention to what she was doing that I missed the fact that others were doing it too, but either way, the result was that for me, Sarah became the fantasy FBB girlfriend simply because there was so much material to fuel that fantasy. And given any female muscle lover's propensity to idealise these magnificent women (you see, there I go again), it won't be a surprise to learn that my daydreams about being Sarah's man around the house tended very much towards imagining an ideal world, an ideal life...

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I don't know what you've heard about contest dieting making bodybuilders (male and female) difficult to live with, but Sarah was never any problem. Quite the opposite in fact, the fewer carbs she had, the more cut she became, the happier she was, the less she would wear and the more she wanted to pose for me. I always looked forward to leg day in particular.

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Sarah rewards me for making her another delicious and nutritious breakfast with a big smile and a little gun show before she goes off to the gym and makes those bad boys grow. In another version of this fantasy, I've installed all the workout equipment she could ever want in the basement (and air-con, and a sound system, and, naturally, lots and lots and lots of mirrors) and this is a post-workout flex. AKA foreplay.

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But even on her rest days, when we'd take casual walks around the neighbourhood, I was the happiest man in the world. All that barely disguised jealousy on the faces of the guys as we strolled past them did wonders for my self-confidence. She'd look great in anything she threw on, and I always remembered to bring the camera.

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Sarah borrows a shirt of mine with hilarious results, then does her best Buster Keaton face for the snap. She spent the rest of the day in this 'outfit'. When she answered the door to the postman, the look on his face was priceless.

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Fresh from the tanning bed, Sarah got me to take this so she could analyse how her back was coming on. I often had trouble holding the camera still when faced with such a task, and it shows here. Her body was just so overwhelming up close. She never got cross with me about the blurry images, though. I think she always rather liked that she could have that effect on me.

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So instead of getting uptight about it, she just bought me a tripod. Even when, as here, she was wearing nothing more than her favourite thong, the camera was always as solid as a rock - that is once my shaky hands had managed to fix the damn thing to the tripod.

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Sarah moisturises before bedtime. I probably should have done the bathroom up a bit, it was hardly fit for a goddess, was it? She never complained, far from it. I just wish I'd maybe given it a lick of paint. In my defence, female muscle slavedom can be a time-consuming business that doesn't leave a lot of free-time for DIY. Or perhaps because Sarah was always doing things like moisturising herself naked in the bathroom with the door open, DIY just never sprang to mind.

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In fact, thinking back, Sarah would spend most of her time shirtless, something I always made sure she knew I appreciated. After all, what's the point of all that hard work to build those delicious muscles if you are going to cover them up and hide them away. And furthermore, if you have the legendary sex drive of an FBB, it doesn't hurt to keep your man titilated and ready to do his duty at a moment's notice, does it?

And here is Sarah getting ready for a Saturday night out from her older YouTube channel, SarahDunlapInMotion. OK, she may have lost a bit of muscle by this stage, but let's face it, if any of us went out on a Saturday night and met a woman with Sarah's muscles here, we wouldn't be complaining.



[editor's note: concerned that 6ft1swell has finally lost his already tenuous grip on reality, today's post was followed by an intervention by the FMS team, and Swell has agreed to undergo psychological evaluation. We await the results.]

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