Sunday 24 July 2016

Obsessions New & Old: She's So Alpha

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Say hello to Mica Schneider, also known as Mica Zumpano Schneider. Say hello to those shoulders, you'll be seeing a fair bit of them today. And to that bicep, more of which to follow as well. And you'll be seeing a whole lot more of that tongue of hers too.

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There. You see? That tongue again. Different bicep, but again, shoulders. Bit more this time though, isn't there? Abs and veins and abs and that deep tan and the posing suit. Looks like she's feeling it, wouldn't you say? Feeling as good as she looks. And she looks - despite the blur - AMAZING. After all, she writes of this photo, that's why I'm here.

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"Here" was this year's Chicago Pro, where on stage the smile was as wide as it had been in the hotel room, though she did manage to rein in the tongue. She finished 12th, in Physique. And this year she also competed in Toronto, finishing 10th.

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Now normally I would go into a fair bit of detail about contest history, when she turned pro etc. etc. But, as Mica herself says, It's not just about the stage. Everyone wants a six-pack, she continues, the question is, who is willing to work for it in the gym and eat for it outside the gym? This girl is! And here's the bit where we find out what else apart from the stage it is about... And you can bet your ass I'll be showing it off in a bikini poolside this summer! Excuse me while I swoon all over the place.

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Like those pecs? Check this out, it'll melt your screen.

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Imagine being poolside as Mica struts in in her bikini with her six-pack and her shoulder and her biceps and that smile and that hair and those aviators. Let's say you're a man. Imagine the problem you are just about to have regarding the physical effect this goddess is going to have on you. But on top of that, at once you find that while you are excited, you also have a certain feeling of helplessness. An ache of disappointment. You're not the kind of man who could ever have a woman like this.

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Now, imagine you're a woman. You might even have been feeling pretty good about yourself as you lay out in your bikini and noticed one or two guys looking your way, but how you feel in the presence of such an obviously superior woman? Look at her, glowing with vitality and confidence and power and animal sexuality and those muscles that you always thought made women look manly but (look at her six-pack!) there's no mistaking she's all woman. And you suddenly feel rather inadequate.

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It may not surprise you if I confess at this point that I am really struggling to hold a train of thought together as I write about Mica. She's one of those women - like Marthe, like Margie - who are mature, supremely confident and 100% muscle sexy. Everything she seems to do is informed by her absolute certainty that she is the sexiest woman in any room, pool, stage, whatever. Yes, she's gorgeous (Zumpano, Italian blood) but it's the confidence, the alpha-ness that is so exciting, and that stems from her muscles.

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This is just for ME, says Mica, a mother to two boys in (I believe) her mid 40s!!! Not for a man. Not to compete. I do this to push my limits. To challenge myself. To better myself... mind, body & spirit. Is it easy? Hell no! Is it worth it? Absolutely!

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Now I dare say that this (mega) crush I have on Mica will, like all my previous crushes and obsessions, eventually wane and the thrill of the new will thrill me again. But right now I could fill a week of posts, no, a month, just with pictures of her in her car.

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I'll resist the temptation for now. Our week of obsessions has come to an end and for a little while at least I'll be keeping the swoons that result from my obsessive IG stalking of Mica to myself. Starting tomorrow it's time to reveal the posing routines our readers nominated as their all-time favourites, so if you got in touch, look out for yours.

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We leave you today as we began. Enjoy!

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